Parenting Support Online | Quantum Goddess Healing

There are so many things we want for our children. For them to be happy, healthy and confident. To feel understood, supported and able to find their own way in the world.

But sometimes parenting is really bloody hard.

Maybe it's the everyday stuff. Asking the same thing ten times, arguments about screens, getting everyone out of the house in the morning, or feeling like nobody is listening.

Maybe you've lost your patience, said something you wish you hadn't, and then spent the rest of the evening feeling guilty about it.

Or perhaps it's something much bigger.

Your child is struggling. They might be anxious, unhappy, angry or withdrawing from you. You can see that something isn't right, but you don't always know how to help.

And there's something incredibly difficult about watching someone you love struggle when you can't make it better for them.

You might find yourself worrying about their happiness, their friendships, their confidence or what the future holds for them.

Sometimes you know exactly how you'd like to respond, but in the heat of the moment, it all goes out of the window.

And sometimes you simply don't know what to do.

Parenting brings up a lot. Not just for our children, but for us too.

Of course, parenting doesn't look the same for everyone.

You might be parenting on your own, sharing parenting with someone you no longer live with, navigating a co-parenting relationship that feels difficult, or raising children alongside a partner or other family members. Each situation brings its own pressures, and sometimes the relationships between the adults can be just as challenging to navigate as the parenting itself.

Every family has its own circumstances, challenges and joys. Some days things feel relatively easy. Other days can leave you feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, helpless or wondering whether you're getting any of it right.

And as our children grow, the challenges change too. Just when you think you've worked something out, you can find yourself navigating something completely new.

Whatever parenting looks like for you right now, there may be times when you could do with a little support.

What happens in a family affects everyone

Have you ever found yourself in a difficult moment with your child and afterwards wondered how things ended up the way they did?

Perhaps your child was upset or angry. You tried to help, but they pushed you away.

You might have felt worried, hurt or frustrated. Maybe you tried harder to get through to them, became defensive yourself, or simply didn't know what to say and pulled away.

And your child may have responded to that, just as you were responding to them.

Before you knew it, you were both feeling further apart, even though that wasn't what either of you wanted.

Sometimes, when we're right in the middle of these moments, it's difficult to see what's actually happening.

Because what comes out of our mouths, or how we behave, isn't always the whole story of what we're feeling underneath.

We might sound angry when we're actually frightened or worried. We might become frustrated when we're feeling helpless. Or we might go quiet because we're overwhelmed and don't know what to do.

And our children can be much the same.

An angry outburst, a slammed door or a refusal to talk might be about more than what we see in that moment.

We won't always know what's going on underneath, and sometimes our children won't know either.

But when we begin to wonder what else might be happening, rather than only reacting to what's in front of us, we may begin to understand our children differently.

Because in a family, we're all responding to one another. Our feelings, words and actions can influence what happens next.

That doesn't mean accepting hurtful behaviour or taking responsibility for everyone else's feelings.

But sometimes, changing how we respond can create space for something different to happen.

Parenting can feel overwhelming. Who supports you?

As parents, we spend so much time thinking about our children.

Are they okay? Are they happy? What do they need? How can I help them?

But how often do we stop and ask ourselves those same kinds of questions?

How am I feeling? What happens for me when things become difficult? What do I need?

Because parenting can bring up all sorts of feelings in us too.

Worry, frustration, sadness, guilt, helplessness. Sometimes feelings we don't fully understand, or reactions that take us by surprise.

And when we're busy trying to work out what's going on for our children, it's easy to overlook what's happening for us.

Perhaps you've found yourself reacting in a way you didn't intend to, or feeling more upset by something than you expected.

Rather than judging ourselves for those moments, what if we could begin to understand them?

Not because we need to be perfectly calm, patient or understanding all the time.

But because when we begin to understand ourselves a little better, we may find we have more choice in how we respond.

And that can make a difference to how we experience parenting and how we relate to our children.

But there's something else worth considering.

When our children are struggling, we often put so much energy into finding ways to help them. We might look for advice, search for answers or try to find the right support for them.

Yet how often do we consider that we might need some support too?

Not just so we can be better parents, but because what we're feeling and experiencing matters as well.

You matter too.

Parenting support from people who understand

We're Niamh and Stef, and as well as supporting other parents, we're mums ourselves.

We've both experienced times when family life felt difficult. When things weren't quite how we wanted them to be, and we weren't sure what to do to change them.

When we trained to facilitate a programme called Parent-Child Connection, part of that training involved experiencing the programme ourselves, looking at our own experiences of parenting and the relationships we have with our children.

Although our experiences and challenges were different, we both began to understand things about ourselves that changed how we approached parenting.

We thought we'd share a little of our own experiences with you.

Stef's experience: Learning to respond differently

When I began the programme, things with my eldest son had become difficult. So many of our conversations seemed to end in defensiveness and frustration. He would get angry, I'd get angry, and neither of us was really hearing the other.

What I began to understand was how much was happening for me in those moments. When he pushed me away or didn't want to talk, I felt hurt and rejected. And those feelings were influencing how I responded to him.

As I started to understand myself better, I found I could give him the space he was asking for, rather than trying to make everything okay straight away.

And something shifted between us.

He began opening up to me more, sometimes sharing things I hadn't expected. Our relationship softened, and these days there's so much more laughter, banter and connection between us.

I also began recognising how my own worries and anxiety could influence the way I responded to my younger son.

For me, the biggest change wasn't learning how to make my children behave differently. It was learning to understand myself, so I could listen to what they needed rather than what I thought they needed.

That doesn't mean parenting is now without its challenges, or that I always get things right. I still get tired and overwhelmed, and sometimes I don't respond with the patience I'd like to.

But I can meet those moments differently now.

I've also learned that when things go wrong between us, we can put them right. I can acknowledge my part, apologise when I need to, and move forward without beating myself up about it. And my children are learning that they can do the same.

I haven't become a perfect mum. But I've become a mum who understands herself better, and that has changed so much about how I relate to my children.

Niamh’s experience: Reconnecting with my teenage son

When my eldest son became a teenager, I started to feel him pulling away from me. He didn't want hugs or comfort in the way he once had. When something was troubling him, he'd retreat into himself and I couldn't seem to reach him.

I remember feeling like I was losing him.

People would say, “That's just teenagers. They're growing up and becoming independent.” And of course, there's truth in that. But I wasn't buying into the idea that I should just accept the distance between us and leave him to get on with it.

I wanted to be part of his life, through the highs and the lows. I wanted him to know he could come to me when things were difficult, as well as when things were going well.

But I didn't know how to bridge that gap.

Through Parent-Child Connection, I began to understand something that was difficult for me to recognise.

When my children were younger, I'd sometimes had big reactions to their big feelings. I hadn't always been able to stay steady and support them emotionally in the way they needed.

And over time, my son had learnt that it was easier to deal with things himself than bring those feelings to me.

That was painful to acknowledge, because I'd always loved him and wanted to be there for him. But my intentions and what he was actually experiencing weren't necessarily the same thing.

I began to understand how my own experiences had shaped my responses, and how those responses had affected our relationship.

And importantly, I began learning how to do things differently.

I learnt how to be with my own difficult feelings, so I could be there for his. I learnt how to take responsibility for my part, repair the moments when I'd got things wrong and begin rebuilding his trust.

It didn't happen overnight. But gradually, things began to change between us.

Now my son comes to me about anything and everything. We talk things through, find ways forward together and he knows he can come to me for a hug, support or simply someone to listen.

And when he moved away to university, I noticed just how much had changed for me too.

Of course I missed him but I no longer had that same fear of losing him, because I knew our connection was there, even when we weren't physically together.

I thought I was losing my son. What I discovered was that we could find our way back to one another, and build a relationship where we both feel more connected, understood and able to talk openly.

Parenting support: Find what works for you

Perhaps something you've read here has felt familiar. Maybe it's helped you look at a situation differently, or made you realise that you could do with a little support yourself.

So what might that support look like for you?

Perhaps you'd like something you can explore in your own time. Maybe you'd enjoy joining a conversation with other parents, or having a space where you can talk openly about what's happening in your family.

There isn't one way to begin. It's about finding what feels right for you.

A little something for you

Sometimes, in the middle of everything that's going on, it's hard to find a moment to consider how you're actually feeling.

Join us for a free workshop

Throughout the year, we run free online workshops exploring different aspects of parenting, family relationships and the challenges that come with raising children.

Parent-Child Connection

There's something really valuable about being alongside other parents who understand that family life isn't always straightforward.

One-to-one support

Sometimes you might want a space that's just for you.